God's promises in 2012

Thursday, 05 January 2012 14:18
Something God has been speaking to me about through Proverbs (which I am also studying across January) is that although He has promised us so much, all of it has an antecedent of us doing something. He is very clear with us about the consequences to our actions, both good and bad, so we need to learn these and keep them close to our hearts. With this wisdom we can become truly accountable and that is very liberating. Right from the beginning we are called to 'do' - WE must open the door and THEN He will come in.

Here are a few promises for you:

- Listen to me and you will live in safety, be at ease and without fear of harm
- store up what God tells us and then we will understand the fear of the Lord and find knowledge of God to guide us
- Be discreet and you will be protected
- remember and practice what He tells you to do and He will prolong your life and give you prosperity
- Love and be faithful and you will win favour and a good name
- acknowledge Him in all that you do and He will keep your paths straight
- give the Lord your first fruits (not the dregs or what you 'think' is right!) and your barns will be filled to overflowing

It's really clear that wisdom will give us light and that if we don't have it we will be in the dark and have no idea of what is making us stumble. We're likely then to do the same stuff over and over again! Einstein's theory of insanity........ :)

So, swtich on the light - open the blinds - rise! Let's make 2012 a year of finding vision and fulfilling it: let's run that race putting the past behind us and straining in to the future
 

depression

Friday, 18 November 2011 11:09

I was asked today whether I thought somebody had clinical depression, and it is defintiely worth discussing here.
The term ‘depression’ and ‘clinical depression’ are often used interchangably, and there is quite a danger with this. There is a difference between what used to be called ‘manic depression’ which is now termed ‘bi-polar’. There is also a difference between ‘clinical depression’ and ‘situational depression’.

Clinical Depression (CD) is most evident when a combination of four or five symptoms occurs without any apparent traumatic or stressful events present. 
One of the key characteristics of CD is suicidal thoughts – these are prolonged and generally consistent. Having said that, not every individual with CD has suicidal ideations.
The inability to enjoy almost any aspect of life is another sign of CD – this is not just having low days, this is not being able to enjoy any aspect of your life. If you engage with normal experiences and you do have ‘high’ moments which are not drug-induced, you will not have CD. There will be lots in your life which can be changed so as you can alter low days, such as scheduling, place of work, liaising with your pastoral team, your friends, starting new friendships etc. With ongoing and planned behaviour analysis, you really can learn to 'enjoy' your life. 
A family history of depression is an indicator of CD - we have a lot of evidence to show that CD is a genetic illness. Most often CD will last for long periods of time but it can subside within six months to one year even when left untreated.
If you do feel that you have CD, you will want to explore medication. I am not a big proponent of medication, however in the case of CD we have lots of evidence to show that it really is needed. If someone has CD and they respond favorably to antidepressant medication, this might also be a good indication that their depressive disorder is caused by an underlying chemical imbalance instead of a stressful situation. Medication is very important in treating depression because when left untreated, CD can cause brain cell (neuron) damage over a long period of time. Studies have shown that the antidepressants will protect the neurons from damage from the stress hormones produced at the time someone has a depressive episode. Therefore, antidepressant medications have a long-term beneficial effect in that they are protective in preventing neuronal death or damage.

We do know that those who experience substance abuse often suffer with depression (we have no idea if this is cause or effect…. ).
There is a difference between clinical depression and an episode of depression. We have done both the disorder and the experience a huge injustice and caused lots of complications in the field by giving them the same name! The reason a behaviour analyst will ask you to take lots of data and get booked in for series of intervention is because we want to find out what is really going on for you.

Depression is treatable, as is anxiety, as is addiction. It is rare to have a comorbidity of all three and if there is a struggle with more than one, it is important to find out what the main struggle is. It is rare for addictions to span multiple ‘drug’s – ie across illegal drugs, alcohol and sex. It is important to determine if you actually have an addiction as opposed to a susceptibility and a history of reinforcement and punishment (this is also what addiction is, but it has a different reinforcement schedule which maintains it).

Anyhow, what I am trying to say is that we can find out all of the answers, but it will take ongoing intervention. Behaviour analysis is evidence based and interventions are based on what is actually going on. This isn’t a short term intervention – there is often a long history we need to address. We will need to teach you to truly understand what is maintaining your behaviour and we will need to change some of your current environment around.

When you say you have had a bad couple of days, what do you mean? Have a think about what a bad couple of days really looks like and really feels like. Are you able to label it? If not, your behaviour analyst will want to take a look at your ability to label and teach you this skill. It is hugely important in reducing symptoms of depression.

This journey you are on is about recovery – recovery from all of the behaviours you have engaged in in the past and in the current which cause you to feel and behave the way you do. That means that you have to be serious about change – changing your current environment, becoming truly accountable and really addressing the function of your behaviour. It is important to get in there during the bad days, not just afterwards.

A lot of situations that look like depression actually stem out of guilt (being down about what we have done/do) or shame (being down about who we are/think we are). ‘Depressive behaviours’ kill motivation and actually become motivating themselves. We need to teach motivation to NOT engage in certain behaviours and ENGAGE in others – however, in order to become self motivated we need other people involved. It will be crucial for you to learn your patterns. We use a social rhythm diary with our clients which is hugely beneficial. We need to determine where exactly you are jumping on that addiction or depression train and have you turn around before you get there – it may be a setting event (something that happens a couple days in advance perhaps) or a thought/chain of thoughts. Again, learning about behaviour will really help you here. We need to look at rituals, and we need to look at thought processes and recurrence of thoughts.

What motivates you? I mean truly motivates you? What gives you meaning and value to your life? If you say God, tell me what that looks like for you.

Do you feel good enough? If not, there is something lacking and we need to find out what that is. This intervention really has to be ongoing and stable. We need to discover where the lies are you are telling yourself and undo these, and we need to undo any isolation you are engaging in. We also need to look at control.

You have likely been successful in the past to a certain point, but now is the point that you have to really step out (ie the Israelites). Don’t be afraid – we’re not going anywhere, and there is nothing that you can say that will shock us or make us go anywhere. You need to occupy and take the whole land, not just keep fighting for bits of it. You need to go further than you have ever gone before and further than you think you need to. This is about living a completely new life. It needs to be radically full of faith, hope and love. Your life doesn’t need to be as it has been, but in order to change that you need to be radical and you need to commit to and stick at this.
 

it's all in the tact....part one

Thursday, 03 November 2011 12:19
Those of you who know me will know that I am very passionate about the operant of language which is called the 'tact'. An operant is different from the term 'operant', as in 'operant conditioning'. I won't be writing about the latter, but if you search through our website http://www.networkinterventions.com/ you will be able to find some good stuff. What I am talking about, an operant of language, is a classification system that one of my heroes, B.F.Skinner came up with. He operationalised (broke down and labelled) our language and he broke it down not by what it looks like (topograhy), but by what it means (function). Again, I won't go in to the various operants - you can take a look at our website if you would like some more info. What I would like to talk about is the important of the tact.

So what is a tact, I hear you cry! A tact is, very simply, a label. This component of our language is so very important, and there are many people who are missing their tacting skills from their tacting repertoire. It can be the reason for the child with autism who has no language, the adult with asperger's who is wonderfully high functioning but not able to fully converse or initiate conversations, or the typically developing adult who suffers from anxiety. It can also be the reason behind the typically developing adult's inability to keep a lid on his anger.

More about the tact tomorrow.....
   

structure vs.schedule

Thursday, 03 November 2011 11:57

I have had some emails from people about my blogs recently, and there is one in particular that I would love to answer. I was asked:

 

"Hey I've got a question for you regarding one of your blog or tweet topics. When you say that structure makes people feel secure, doesn't that also sometimes stop people from progressing? Because I have a structured life, Monday is dinner at one of my friend's house, Tuesday I grab McDonald's before going to a church kids club where I'm one of the leaders. Wednesday is dinner at another friend's house. Thursday is with [my daughter] one week and back to the Monday night friend's house for dinner before going to bible study. Friday is squash. My life is very structured but I think in it being so structured, I'm in a comfort zone and not going anywhere."

 

This is such a great question, and I am so glad that I have been asked this because I have been thinking over the past few days about the difference between schedule and structure and also about disciplines. I have decided that I think that a schedule is what you do, so what the guy above is talking about. For example, at 5.30am I get up and have my time with God, at 6.30am I have a coffee and a chat and a pray with my husband, on a Wednesday we go to toddler group etc etc. There are certain portions of my 'schedule' and my family's 'schedule' that don't change unless for a special event. For example, a non-negotiable in our house is that we attend church on a Sunday morning. A non-negotiable when our children are teenagers will be that they attend youth group. However, we are family that are always changing our location and our activities. I travel a lot, which means my baby (soon to be babies) travel a lot. My husband is self-employed which means sometimes he has a tonne of work, sometimes none. We both study - school schedules change frequently! Sometimes, however, we do get stuck in a rut with doing the same things day in day out because we are in a 'schedule/routine'. Because we never want our environment to limit us, just as we should want to prevent when we are teaching our learners who have autism and developmental delays, we sit down each Sunday evening and review our 'schedule' of the week. Is each portion or activity contributing to our vision for our family and also our goals for ourselves? If it isn't, we may need to review how we are spending our time. If it is a crazy-busy week, how are we going to protect the things which do spur us on, develop us, motivate us, encourage us? For example, how are we going to protect our study time, our devotional time, our couple time. How do I protect my business-development time with a busy family? I take a portion of each week to think these things through and each month my husband and I have a date during which we discuss our loose plan for the month - which disciplines and structures are family? Which do we want to introduce to our lives? So, in short, yes I do think that a reliance on schedule as opposed to structure can debilitate progress and extinguish motivation. Ensuring we have access to new activities and items contiually is really important for the motivation of everybody, not just learners who have autism or developmental delays. It is something to really consider.

 

Now to 'structure'. Although schedule is something that we are not rigid with in our home, and in our business Shelley and I strive not to tie ourselves up with schedule or our families and programmes up with schedule, structure is highly valued. I feel that structure is just knowing, wherever you are and whatever you are doing, what is expected of you and what you expect of others. Annie has always had a structure to her day - wherever we are she will sleep for certain time periods, eat at certain points. Annie knows the behavioural expectations of her, and I know the expectations that my husband has of me and vice versa. It is so important in relationship to be able to predict one another's behaviour. Boundaries and structure really do provide stability and allow development and motivation to flourish. To me, structure is all about consistency. 

 

Does that answer your question? I am sure that I can speak about this for hours, and don't want to bore anybody! 

 

 

the proof is in the pudding

Sunday, 30 October 2011 07:19

I meet with my wonderful pastor's wife (I am not sure why I call her that, as actually she is the associate pastor at our church and therefore my pastor within its own right!) once a month for a time of study, reflection and 'refining' (her helping to refine me, not the other way around!). This time is very precious to me and I really do feel enables me to run my race better.

 

One of my favourite 'mottos' is a phrase from the bible about pressing on. This is what I aim to do, and I love that my pastor's wife is willing to jig me further along my 'race' in lfe. We have a very complex family, a very 'unscheduled' life, multiple jobs and multiple job roles between Ludo and I, so we are certainly not an easy 'client' for Cathy and Graham (our pastors) to take on! Anyhow, one of my favourite verses is from Philippians 3: 13-14:

 

"forgetting the past and looking to the future to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us".

 

Just a wonderful, wonderful verse. It is all in the pressing on - working towards letting go of the past, including past behaviours, and running your race well. Finding out what your particular race is and running it well. This is what my ministry at Kadayer is all about. I love working with individuals and family units to help them to achieve this, and I am now in the extremely exciting position to have been asked by a rather large 'company' of churches to come on board their team to do just this for their pastors and interns. Wow! What a huge blessing. God had told me at the beginning of this year that I would be a church psychologist (that is no an actual position though!) and I was like, yeah God okay. Can you not see I have a family, a business, a ministry and a baby? So he was right. Again.

 

Anyhow, I digress. My assigment for this month from Cathy is to study James - in fact, we have been studying it for a while but she is teaching me to really study and meditate and apply the bible to my life all day, every day. It has been such a rich addition to my life, and my 5.30am starts are just when God wants me to be doing this with Him and learning from Him. Every strand comes together in the end!

 

This month I am studying James 2 & 3. What has really struck me is that the proof really is in the pudding. The more I learn about the bible, the more I see it proven in science. My work and my ministry is all about using proven strategies, research and behaviour analytic and psychological methods to help people to achieve their goals, be it individuals overcoming trauma, abuse, depression, anxiety, families healing and thriving as a unit (whatever that unit looks like), or teaching children with autism and language delays to talk, it all comes from the research and is 'proven'. We cannot and must not improvise or mess with behaviour - it is complex, it is messy and it is potentially dangerous. However, the more I now study the bible the more I see that the bible and science go exactly hand in hand. I am yet to discover a contradiction.

 

So, 'proof is in the pudding'. I always work with my clients to teach them how to overcome their past and press on to finish their race well, whether that be their past of not being able to talk, their past as a non christian, their past in an abusive relationship or just bettering themeslves to better their future walks. The proof is always in what they do and what they think and we take data and track patterns to prove things are working. The bible, in particular James, says just that. Faith and action must work together. We cannot just have faith and hope for the best. It is up to us to action what we need to in order to achieve our goals and our path God has for us. Sometimes this is hard and needs a professional or a team, such as www.kadayer.co.uk or www.networkinterventions.com to help you to achieve this. The key is that we must do this for ourselves, as well as in our deeds for others. If we are unable to help ourselves, how can we truly help others? We are very clearly called to press on, because a person is justified by what he does not just by faith alone. James says that faith without deeds is dead - harsh words, but true! If we cling to our baggage and our problems, we are not pressing on with our race.

 

True faith transforms our conduct as well as our thoughts. If our lives remain unchanged, we can't truly believe the truths we claim to believe. It is okay to ask for help to change our lives! Behaviour is impossible to change ourselves, without changing something in our environment - the research says! Now I am not saying that deeds (be it changing ourselves or doing good deeds for others, which changing ourselves allows) is a substitute for our faith, not at all. Paul teaches us very clearly on this. What I am saying is that a changed life is verification of our faith in Jesus.

 

Faith always results in a changed life. Faith always results in a changed self. Faith should always result in good deeds. My NIV study guide tells me that true faith is a committment of your whole self to God - I like this. In getting help, which I am a strong advocate of as you know, we are committing our whole self to God and to His change for us. My NIV also tells me that faith brings us salvation, but that active obedience demonstrates that our faith is genuine. I like this too.

 

 

 

Happy Sunday, everybody

 

 

 

 

Lu

   

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